Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Heartaches of a Fool

Rocky (semi-retired truck-driver Joseph Rockford, Jim's father) is driving a big-rig up from San Diego. Out of nowhere, two cars park in the middle of the road up ahead, forming a barrier. Rocky swerves to avoid plowing through them & jacknifes his rig. Another car pulls up, & two men drag Rocky to safety before dousing the cargo with gasoline & setting it on fire. The shipment is a load of "Charlie Strayhorn's Sausages, made in Cripple Creek, Arkansas".

When Rocky comes to, he's in the hospital, with his bandaged up but none the worse for the wear & tear. Jim shows up as he's being questioned by the Highway Patrol, who don't believe him when he says he was run off the road. They take his license & tell him he'll most likely have it revoked. It gets worse. It turns out that Rocky had been duped into driving a non-union shipment. His membership is also revoked. Rocky is inconsolable, & Jim decides to investigate.

Jim goes to see Roland Eddy, the man who hired Rocky. Over a beer, Roland tells Jim that the job was actually a smuggle. He had told Rocky to avoid the truck-scales & stay off of I-5, & assumed that Rocky would understand what that meant. The sausages come from Mexico, & are unloaded illegally at the supermarkets. Now Jim decides to look into sausage company. Charlie Strayhorn is a country singer who's lent his name to the product, so after several unsuccesful attempts to contact the company, Jim goes to see Strayhorn in person, at his house in Bel-Air.

We find Strayhorn meeting with his lawyers, accountants, & soon-to-be ex-wife. His impending divorce & tax audit are making him regret even getting into the music business; he's so busy with legal matters he doesn't have any time to write new songs. When Jim knocks on his door, both of them are in foul moods. Jim confronts Charlie over his sausages, & Stayhorn writes Jim off as a shakedown artist. An argument quickly ensues. Next thing you know, the two are brawling in Strayhorn's front yard. His wife comes running out to separate the two, and Jim chases after them as they hop into Strayhorn's dusty pick-up. With Strayhorn at the wheel, they speed off. Jim asks Strayhorn to take him to Roland Eddy's place, so he can prove that the sausages are smuggled. They get there just in time to see a couple of men kidnapping Roland. Strayhorn's truck stalls in the driveway & they can't give chase. They call the police, then head for the hospital, where Strayhorn volunteers to pay for Rocky's medical bills. Rocky is cheered up considerably. He always listens to Charlie Strayhorn tapes during long-hauls, so he's thrilled to meet him.

That night, Jim is having a drink at the bar by his trailer. As he's leaving, a Chinese man picks a fight with him. He's getting the best of a surprised Rockford until Jim grabs a telephone off the bar & brains him with it. Meanwhile, Strayhorn & his wife are conducting an inventory on their home for the divorce settlement. Strayhorn leaves after gettin gemotional over a saddle he bought before he was famous. Later that night, Jim is visited by a rip-roarin' drunk Strayhorn, who still doesn't believe that his brand of sausages are being smuggled in from Mexico. To prove it, he drags Jim to the Van Nuys Airport, where they take Strayhorn's private jet to Cripple Creek, Arkansas. On the plane, Strayhorn finally has enough peace & quiet to write a song: "Heartaches of a Fool".

When they get to Cripple Creek, they find the sausage plant: a dilapidated trailer & toolshed on an otherwise empty tract of land. It's an unmanned maildrop, & Strayhorn finally believes Jim. He vows to go straight to his business manager, Clement, to find out what's going on. When they take a look at the shed, they find a dead Chinese man. Now, this is the mid-'70s, so it's unusual to find a Chinese laborer in rural Arkansas. Jim is concerned, noting that the man who attacked him the night before was also Chinese. He's even more concerned when Strayhorn informs him that his business manager Clement is, you guessed it, Chinese. Clement Chin.

They head back to L.A., & find Chin in a Chinatown restaurant. Chin admits that the whole operation is crooked. He has a corrupt FDA official stamp the sausages in Mexico, then has them smuggled into the States & illegally bypasses the unions, via Chin's food distribution company. When Strayhorn tries to rough him up, Chin's "business associates" intervene. We learn that Chin is a member of the Triad, aka the Chinese mafia. Suddenly, the restaurant empties...word has gotten out that rival gangsters are about to shoot up the place. As Rockford & Strayhorn are leaving out the back, Jim peels the label off a carton by the kitchen entrance. It's a label for Chins distribution company downtown.

As Chin is being chauffered away, his driver turns on him. The rival gangsters have hired him to double-cross Chin. While Rockford & Strayhorn are staking out the distribution company, Chin's driver has turned him over to the head of the same Union that has revoked Rocky's membership. The Union leader also happens to be involved in organized crime. The Union & the Triad have been involved in a running battle, & the corrupt Union thugs are about to kill Chin. First, however, they stop at the distribution plant, where Roland Eddy has been held captive all this time. Seizing their opportunity, Rockford & Strayhorn pull a couple of shotguns out of Strayhorn's truck & ambush them. After a brief skirmish, the Union thugs surrender.

When Rocky is out of the hospital, he & Jim go to visit Strayhorn & say thanks. Rocky's license & Union membership have been reinstated now that the scandal has been uncovered. But Strayhorn's gone...his assistant tells Rocky & Jim that he's gone back to his ranch, & may never come back. But he has a gift for them: the saddle he bought before he was famous. The Rockfords are a bit confused, but there's another gift. It's a pressing of Strayhorn's new single, "Heartaches of a Fool", the song Strayhorn wrote on the plane trip to Cripple Creek with Jim, & in the liner notes Strayhorn dedicates the song to Rocky, "for setting me free."

As the song plays, we see Strayhorn & his wife in his truck, driving out of the city for good.

This one featured music by Willie Nelson & Waylon Jennings. The music Strayhorn played, including the title track, was by Willie Nelson. The last shot was pretty impressive, an aerial, which was uncharacteristic for the show.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Dwarf in a Helium Hat

Rockford is trying to get some sleep after a long drive home after working a case in Colorado, when he receives a mysterious phone call. Someone tersely informs him that if he looks out his window, he'll see that his dog is dead, & the Lansing girl is next. Before Jim can say anything, like letting them know they have the wrong number, they hang up. Now Jim can't go back to sleep; he keeps thinking about what will happen now that the person who the message was meant for will never get it. He drives to the police station but his pal Becker is out. Lt. Chapman rakes Jim over the coals for always coming around & using the police resources. The two exchange barbs: Chapman commenting on how "Jimbo" rhymes with "Bimbo", & Rockford replying that Chapman's comedic talents are being wasted at the station, he should be on the Tonight Show. Chapman has Rockford thrown out of the station.

Back at the trailer, Jim can't get the phone call out of his mind. Even though Rockyshows up & tries to get him to help out with an errant plumber, Jim can't think about anything else. He looks up his own name in the phone book, & sees that the name right above his is a J. Rockfeld. On a hunch, he drives to Rockfeld's house in Hollywood (this was back when everybody's address was listed in the phone book). When he gets there no one's home, but sure enough, there's a dog sprawled out on the lawn, in bad shape. Jim picks the wounded pup to the vet & drives him to the vet. Turns out to be a case of poisoning.

Jim rushes back to Rockfeld's house just in time to catch two well-dressed thugs attacking a girl on the front porch. Guessing that she's "the Lansing girl", he jumps in to try & help. The two goons are getting the better of Jim until the girl drives them off with a rake (this was back when rakes were those long flat iron claw-like thingies). Sure enough, her name is Julie Lansing, & she's late to meet Rockfeld at a party. Jim tags along.

The party is an all-night high-class shindig, ending with a raffle at dawn, where the winners take a chartered bus to the airport & get on a plane to Paris. It's hosted by a British rock star named Keith, who is pushing a piano into the swimming pool when they show up. They find Rockfeld drinking on the bus out front. He turns out to be a very disagreeable character, who isn't concerned about his dog or Julie's safety. He's mad at Julie for not bringing his suitcase; he was trying to fix th raffle so he can get out of town before whoever's threatening him can make good.

It's too late; the two torpedoes show up at the party. Jim starts the bus up & drives off, with the two goons in chase. He can't outrun them but is able to lure them into a narrow alley in downtown LA, where he stops the bus & gets out, leaving them trapped behind him. Back at his trailer, Jim learns what the problem is...Rockfeld, the spoiled son of a drapery-mogul in the valley, is a party-planner for the Hollywood elite. His last jaunt was for a mobbed-up would-be actor, who ended up getting stuck with the tab & wants revenge. He's been cut off by his parent's, & rock-star Keith won't help him out either. Rockford wants nothing more to do with it, & sees an irate Rockfeld & a grateful Julie to the door.

That night, Jim gets another phone call. Same caller, same wrong number, & once again they hang up before he can explain. This time they say they have Rockfeld's sister. Jim finds Julie, who helps him track down Rockfeld's parents in Sherman Oaks. They're on a cruise in Mazatlan, but rush back to the States when they hear the news. They give Rockford & Rockfeld the money, the two head for the exchange at the bus station. Jim drops Rockfeld off & follows the gangsters when they pick him up & drive to a rent-a-car office nearby. In the car, the hood angrily explains to Rockfeld that the money is inconsequential, it's the humilation of everyone thinking that he threw himself his own party. Now Rockfeld's time is up..."This is one party you don't come home from."

They herd Rockfeld into one of the rent-a-cars for the long drive to wherever they've decided to kill & bury him. As they're driving off the lot, Jim jumps out of his Firebird & slams the parking lot fence in front of their car, which plows through it & crashes when the fence gets caught under their wheels. Jim rushes them & is able to disarm them before they regain their senses.

Back at his trailer, Jim, Julie, & the now recovered dog are breathing a collective sigh of relief. Rockfeld is throwing another party, financed by someone else this time. It's a theme-party, based on rock-star Keith's songs. Rockfeld is going as a "Dwarf in a Helium Hat", one of Keith's early singles. He needs his dog for the costume of another party-goer. Rockfeld leaves, but not before stiffing Jim for the vet bill. The dog doesn't want to leave, but Rockfeld drags him out by the collar. The dog promptly bites him & runs back into Jim's trailer.

Oddly enough, this one had Lt. Chapman but no Becker. The bus-chase was a nice spin on the car-chase theme. This was also one of those adventures of Jim's that had nothing to do with a paying client, just him being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The Deadly Maze

Late at night, Jim shows up at a potential client's house, only to find it dark & deserted. Following a tapping sound to the basement, he finds his client, Mr. Albach, checking the water heater for leaks. This is one of his properties, he explains. Jim isn't crazy about the "trick or treat atmosphere" but hears him out. His wife has gone missing. He can't go to the police; she's mentally unstable & has a deadly fear of the authorities. Jim is concerned my Albach's complete lack of emotion, but is finally talked into taking the case, for an extra $50 a day. Alback gives him a wedding photo, & explains that a suspicious car was seen inthe neighborhood right around the time his wife disappeared. He even has the plate #.

Jim asks Sgt Becker, who has broken his nose for some reason, to trace the license #, under the pretext that the driver has hit & run Rockford's Firebird. The car is registered to a man named Savagi. When Rockford goes to the man's house to snoop around, he hears a scream inside, & finds a bloody apron in the garbage. The occupants of the house flee.

There's no victim or evidence of foul play, so police are reluctant to investigate. Jim is finally able to get Becker to send the apron to the lab to see if the blood is human or not. Turns out Savagi is a butcher by trade, & the blood isn't human after all. When Jim reports to Albach, he remains unconcerned. We also learn that he's secretly been recording his conversations with Rockford. Savagi & a chain-toting goon show up at Jim's trailer, warning him in no uncertain terms to forget about the case.

Jim tries & tries to get a hold of Albach, & doesn't know what to think when he can't get through. If a man's wife is missing, why isn't he waiting by the phone? Jim drives over to Albach's office, where he finds the missing wife talking on the phone. He overhears her talking to a "George" at a bar, & talking about an old man in a limousine. When he confronts her, she says that her husband is the crazy one, & admits to having an affair with Savagi. Jim watches someone pick her up in a Trans-Am & speed away.

Jim's had enough. When Albach calls him for an update, Jim tells him he's found his wife, & that he's officially off the case. Albach offers Jim $300 a day, but Jim isn't having any of it. One thing that's bothering him, though, is the shoes Mrs. Albach is wearing in the wedding photo, supposedly taken over 10 years ago. She's wearing shoes that women are wearing nowadays. Why would Albach give him a fake wedding photo? Jim finds the bar Mrs. Albach was on the phone with, "The Alvarado", & cons the bartender, a good friend of hers, into giving up her address. Turns out her #1 client is an old movie-star from the talkie-days; that's who's been picking her up in the limo. He gets to her apartment just in time to bump into her killer, who promptly knocks Jim out.

Now that the police are involved, it's discovered that the woman was not Albach's wife. She was a local prostitute. Sure enough, the shoes from the wedding picture are in her closet. Jim rushes over to Albach's office, but it's been cleaned out & he's vanished without a trace. Jim has no choice but to go through the building's garbage to look for clues. He finds a receipt in Albach's name for lab rats. When he goes to check it out, he learns that Albach is a doctor conducting a study at Pepperdine. Now things are starting to make sense.

Jim's suspicions are confirmed whenhe sees Albach, at the University, paying off Savagi & his cronie. A rabbit purchased from the lab animal outlet provides cover for Jim to get into the research facilities, where he overhears Albach discussing the entire affair. It was all government-funded behavioral-science research. Jim barges in & breaks the bad news. The woman posing as Albach's wife is dead, & Rockford is going to break the whole story to the police. Albach is more concerned with not jeopardizing his research than with helping solve the murder, & doesn't want to cooperate with the police. Jim hauls him down The Alvarado, where the burly bartender, furious over the murder, is able to convince Albach to help.

They head out to the old movie-star's house, where her boyfriend, Stan, who matches the killer's description, is working as a chauffeur. They break the bad news to the broken-hearted john, & right on cue the chauffeur barges in with a gun. He had been trying to get his girlfriend to help him rob the old man, & when she wouldn't, he killed her. Now he figures on holding them all up & getting out of Dodge. The wheelchair-bound silver fox is able to get a gun from a drawer & take a shot at Stan. Rockford siezes the opportunity & rushes Stan. He manages to disarm him, but ends up pinned underneath a toppled dresser-drawer. Stan runs out the front door, but Jim gets up & is right behind him. He runs him down, tackles him, & punches his lights out.

That night, back at Jim's trailer, Rocky is serving Jim & Becker a long-overdue dinner of fish that Rocky caught off the pier. When Dr. Albach shows up & tries to get Jim to answer a questionnaire to complete the research project, Jim calmly refuses, but sincerely offers to kick Albach's teeth in instead.

It was interesting to see that this episode had foregone car chases in leiu of a fair amount of dumpster-diving, a staple of real-life private investigation. I was in the bathroom when it started so I never found out how Becker broke his nose.